The non-stakage of Spike in Season four is a difficult one, with how the story was handled. I've seen better versions in old fanfic from the time to explain Spike's presence. Then I never liked the story arc in Season Four anyway, I thought it was ill thought out, and tried to bring too meny elements together which didn't always make for a satisfying story.

Spike not calling Buffy never really bothered me at all. He didn't believe she loved him, she had her slayer army and had always said she wanted a normal life. It seemed to be her chance to have that. Spike may have felt he would just get in her way, and she was better off without him. Then I was pretty much all for Spike moving on myself.