Yeah, that's pretty much where I am on both issues. With S4, I do think it's OOC that nobody even seriously suggested staking Spike, but it doesn't really bother me, because I do understand the need for the contrivance.
AtS S5, on the other hand, doesn't strike me as particularly OOC, so I'm even more willing to excuse the contrivance. Would I have preferred to see some resolution to the Spuffy relationship, even if it's not a happy one? Sure. But I'm with you in thinking that Spike had perfectly good reasons for not wanting that to happen.
There are other bends -- Angel's complete lack of assistance in season 5 despite his stated reason for giving up his humanity in IWRY comes to mind.
This never bothered me, either, since I'm not sure how Angel was supposed to know his help was needed. He showed up in "Forever" - if Buffy wanted his help, surely that was the time to ask for it. I'm sure if Angel knew he could prevent Buffy's death, he'd have tried, but aside from the fact that he wasn't even in this dimension at the time, no one informed him his help was required.
I've also seen it suggested that Angel saving Buffy wasn't about her death in S5 - it was about her victory over the First. If Angel had stayed human, he'd never have been offered the deal with W&H, meaning he'd never have gotten the amulet, which closed the Hellmouth. The rise of the First was the darkness that was coming, and that's what Angel was trying to prevent by becoming a vampire again (although he didn't know it at the time).
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AtS S5, on the other hand, doesn't strike me as particularly OOC, so I'm even more willing to excuse the contrivance. Would I have preferred to see some resolution to the Spuffy relationship, even if it's not a happy one? Sure. But I'm with you in thinking that Spike had perfectly good reasons for not wanting that to happen.
There are other bends -- Angel's complete lack of assistance in season 5 despite his stated reason for giving up his humanity in IWRY comes to mind.
This never bothered me, either, since I'm not sure how Angel was supposed to know his help was needed. He showed up in "Forever" - if Buffy wanted his help, surely that was the time to ask for it. I'm sure if Angel knew he could prevent Buffy's death, he'd have tried, but aside from the fact that he wasn't even in this dimension at the time, no one informed him his help was required.
I've also seen it suggested that Angel saving Buffy wasn't about her death in S5 - it was about her victory over the First. If Angel had stayed human, he'd never have been offered the deal with W&H, meaning he'd never have gotten the amulet, which closed the Hellmouth. The rise of the First was the darkness that was coming, and that's what Angel was trying to prevent by becoming a vampire again (although he didn't know it at the time).