I read and enjoyed your meta a good while back. (I've read all your meta!!!) The piece by The Royal Anna is great.
I've been all over the map emotionally on this stuff. But I think I've come down very firmly on the point that Spike really doesn't think Buffy loves him. He thinks that any chance he might have had for that ended in Seeing Red. He only came back to help. He doesn't want anything from her. They both know that she doesn't love him. Early late and middle, through season 7 there's just a drum beat on the subject: Spike thinks she doesn't love him.
He gets his hopes up twice. When Buffy's not ready for him to not be there, he asks about the principal. And he wants to know if that night meant anything. Both times, Buffy takes back whatever crumbs prompted the hope. She answers Spike's question about the principal with silence rather than any assurance that there's no romance there. Feeling close doesn't have to mean anything. To cap off the last, Spike next sees her basking in Angel's glow with the sort of smile she has never ever bestowed on Spike.
I can see Spike going back to hopeful with the "I love you" and that informing the moves he makes towards going to find Buffy. But I think a lot of his comments about Buffy being there for him is bluster for Angel's benefit... don't forget, Spike SAW the basking. That's why Angel's assertion in Destiny hit home. Angel has no basis for saying what he says, but Spike has plenty of basis for believing him.
I think the hope is what motors him to the ticketing agent. But I think his actions tell us exactly how deep that hope goes. He postpones the brush off until he's got a start on his new life. That's why he waits until TGIQ. He's very quick to accept the news of the brush off. Too quick for someone who really expected something else.
I'm glad for people who can believe that Spike believed. I do think that Spike's delay is ALSO due to the decision to establish his own mission as a hero apart from Buffy. It's just for me it's a combo deal.
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I've been all over the map emotionally on this stuff. But I think I've come down very firmly on the point that Spike really doesn't think Buffy loves him. He thinks that any chance he might have had for that ended in Seeing Red. He only came back to help. He doesn't want anything from her. They both know that she doesn't love him. Early late and middle, through season 7 there's just a drum beat on the subject: Spike thinks she doesn't love him.
He gets his hopes up twice. When Buffy's not ready for him to not be there, he asks about the principal. And he wants to know if that night meant anything. Both times, Buffy takes back whatever crumbs prompted the hope. She answers Spike's question about the principal with silence rather than any assurance that there's no romance there. Feeling close doesn't have to mean anything. To cap off the last, Spike next sees her basking in Angel's glow with the sort of smile she has never ever bestowed on Spike.
I can see Spike going back to hopeful with the "I love you" and that informing the moves he makes towards going to find Buffy. But I think a lot of his comments about Buffy being there for him is bluster for Angel's benefit... don't forget, Spike SAW the basking. That's why Angel's assertion in Destiny hit home. Angel has no basis for saying what he says, but Spike has plenty of basis for believing him.
I think the hope is what motors him to the ticketing agent. But I think his actions tell us exactly how deep that hope goes. He postpones the brush off until he's got a start on his new life. That's why he waits until TGIQ. He's very quick to accept the news of the brush off. Too quick for someone who really expected something else.
I'm glad for people who can believe that Spike believed. I do think that Spike's delay is ALSO due to the decision to establish his own mission as a hero apart from Buffy. It's just for me it's a combo deal.