Agreed. Since when is trusting Andrew adequate to relay a message? To me, it's not. And especially not when relaying messages as important as "I'm back from the dead"--that's another reason why I thought he told Andrew to lie. One, Spike wasn't ready for Buffy to know. Two, Spike wanted to tell her himself. Because him telling her himself does honor to the deep connection they shared and to the way he discovered she was alive again--he saw it with his own eyes and it's one of the most powerful scenes ever. I sometimes rewind that scene to see the wonderful changes in his expression as he watches her climb down the stairs.
If anything, the fact that he's able to just let it go and let Andrew be the go-between speaks two things to me. One, he's still "terrified" of what it means to be loved by Buffy, something that he's never truly experienced because he's never been "close" to anyone before. Two, he doesn't care about Buffy anymore, he doesn't need to see her with his own eyes and hear her voice and know that she's happy and moved on. The fact that he trusts Andrew to tell him Buffy is happy with the Immortal when the last time they saw Andrew, Andrew was busy lying his ass off and pulling a fast one on them...? Yeah, not smart. You can't take what Andrew does at face value, which means Spike had to have his own reasons for buying a line that smacks of BS.
Buffy is the woman he loved who took his hand while his soul was burning up and felt the fire with him. Who was there for his most glorious moment. That connection doesn't fade away. That intimacy. And frankly, it's too sacred for Spike to be letting Andrew in on it. Buffy and Spike don't talk about their relationship--it's too private for them. Spike doesn't even really let on about how deeply connected he and Buffy came to Angel--he just lets Angel think it was all about sex "If you do it enough times" and never lets on to how Buffy depended on him. So I think it's more that Spike's insecurities let him believe Andrew's line; insecurities that Angel has been amping up all season. I think by then Spike doesn't believe Buffy ever loved him, not the way she loved Angel completely; all from being forced to view the world through Angel's (and AtS') viewpoint. Which is why him actually being back in Buffy's presence is essential to me. Because only when in her presence will there be truth to their connection--whether it's over or not. Angel's dismissal and Andrew's storytelling aren't adequate for a man of Spike's typical tenacity. Hence why I think he's "terrified" of what it means to be loved by Buffy.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-22 06:41 pm (UTC)If anything, the fact that he's able to just let it go and let Andrew be the go-between speaks two things to me. One, he's still "terrified" of what it means to be loved by Buffy, something that he's never truly experienced because he's never been "close" to anyone before. Two, he doesn't care about Buffy anymore, he doesn't need to see her with his own eyes and hear her voice and know that she's happy and moved on. The fact that he trusts Andrew to tell him Buffy is happy with the Immortal when the last time they saw Andrew, Andrew was busy lying his ass off and pulling a fast one on them...? Yeah, not smart. You can't take what Andrew does at face value, which means Spike had to have his own reasons for buying a line that smacks of BS.
Buffy is the woman he loved who took his hand while his soul was burning up and felt the fire with him. Who was there for his most glorious moment. That connection doesn't fade away. That intimacy. And frankly, it's too sacred for Spike to be letting Andrew in on it. Buffy and Spike don't talk about their relationship--it's too private for them. Spike doesn't even really let on about how deeply connected he and Buffy came to Angel--he just lets Angel think it was all about sex "If you do it enough times" and never lets on to how Buffy depended on him. So I think it's more that Spike's insecurities let him believe Andrew's line; insecurities that Angel has been amping up all season. I think by then Spike doesn't believe Buffy ever loved him, not the way she loved Angel completely; all from being forced to view the world through Angel's (and AtS') viewpoint. Which is why him actually being back in Buffy's presence is essential to me. Because only when in her presence will there be truth to their connection--whether it's over or not. Angel's dismissal and Andrew's storytelling aren't adequate for a man of Spike's typical tenacity. Hence why I think he's "terrified" of what it means to be loved by Buffy.