Here's where I'm at. I believe Buffy is hurting. I believe Andrew created an information gap. And I believe that Spike let his insecurities win him. He's not a bad guy. He's just insecure.
And I won't blame Buffy because she has no agency. Spike does; he got to make a choice. Sadly, his choice was based on insecurities and this results in Buffy remaining. Yes, it's tragic. But of the two, only Spike had the power to do anything about it and he didn't. So I can't help but think 'if only Spike hadn't succumbed to his insecurities', but it's also a part of their dance. That as Buffy grows in her confidence in Spike, Spike loses confidence in himself and his connection to her. I don't blame Spike for being "terrified", but I don't admire him for giving in to it when it leaves Buffy in a place of heartache. She has no way to do anything about it because she doesn't know. He does have agency and yet the tragedy stands. So while I mostly blame fate and miscommunication and Andrew, there's a small part of that that says results come from cause and Spike's insecurities are a part of that.
And if he gets credit in my mind for being heroic, for risking pain, all in the hopes of saving others from hurt; well then I do give him demerits for giving into his fears, for living "terrified" all leading to others remaining in pain.
His insecurities lead him to believing Andrew. And that's really the problem. The fact that he believes anything from Andrew without questioning it or wondering 'hey, Andrew could be lying like he was last time...'
Spike made some bad decisions. It's less blameworthy than the outright manipulations of Andrew, absolutely. But I don't think it was a wise or a courageous decision, but one based on fear. And decisions based on fear aren't admirable to me. Which is to say if there is an admirable option, that is the one preferable to the one you do when cringing away. What makes Spike so admirable a character to me is that he was one who "risk[ed] the pain". Him losing that quality only makes me pity him. And his becoming a character I pity (as less than what he was) is so beyond what I want for him that I can't help but view it as a bad decision. Spike giving into his fears isn't a good time for him imo.
Breaking it down. Buffy has no agency in the situation. Spike does. Spike gives into his fears because he's "terrified" of what Buffy's love could mean. He's afraid to "risk the pain" now. He's giving into his fear. Giving into fear to me is always a bad decision, but he makes the choice to let his fear rule his actions. So yes, I do find him partially responsible for the situation. Because he has agency and is a player in the charade. He is culpable.
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And I won't blame Buffy because she has no agency. Spike does; he got to make a choice. Sadly, his choice was based on insecurities and this results in Buffy remaining. Yes, it's tragic. But of the two, only Spike had the power to do anything about it and he didn't. So I can't help but think 'if only Spike hadn't succumbed to his insecurities', but it's also a part of their dance. That as Buffy grows in her confidence in Spike, Spike loses confidence in himself and his connection to her. I don't blame Spike for being "terrified", but I don't admire him for giving in to it when it leaves Buffy in a place of heartache. She has no way to do anything about it because she doesn't know. He does have agency and yet the tragedy stands. So while I mostly blame fate and miscommunication and Andrew, there's a small part of that that says results come from cause and Spike's insecurities are a part of that.
And if he gets credit in my mind for being heroic, for risking pain, all in the hopes of saving others from hurt; well then I do give him demerits for giving into his fears, for living "terrified" all leading to others remaining in pain.
His insecurities lead him to believing Andrew. And that's really the problem. The fact that he believes anything from Andrew without questioning it or wondering 'hey, Andrew could be lying like he was last time...'
Spike made some bad decisions. It's less blameworthy than the outright manipulations of Andrew, absolutely. But I don't think it was a wise or a courageous decision, but one based on fear. And decisions based on fear aren't admirable to me. Which is to say if there is an admirable option, that is the one preferable to the one you do when cringing away. What makes Spike so admirable a character to me is that he was one who "risk[ed] the pain". Him losing that quality only makes me pity him. And his becoming a character I pity (as less than what he was) is so beyond what I want for him that I can't help but view it as a bad decision. Spike giving into his fears isn't a good time for him imo.
Breaking it down. Buffy has no agency in the situation. Spike does. Spike gives into his fears because he's "terrified" of what Buffy's love could mean. He's afraid to "risk the pain" now. He's giving into his fear. Giving into fear to me is always a bad decision, but he makes the choice to let his fear rule his actions. So yes, I do find him partially responsible for the situation. Because he has agency and is a player in the charade. He is culpable.