Perhaps you're right. But I can see Xaner being closer to Jesse, them being boys and having more in common than Xander and Willow. You can clearly see how Willow becomes closer to Buffy than Xander as seasons go. It's easier to be friends with a girl than a guy -there are touchy subjects you can't talk to with a boy. Same with Xander, he's in such need of a guy friend, but poor thing has Buffy's curse with her boyfriends. Everytime he befriends a guy he either dies or leaves. :(