As you know, I love your reading best of all, Maggie, even though I'm not convinced that Joss had all these parallels and reversals in mind while writing the story. (There's another quote that might back up your theory, though, besides Jane Espenson's note about the sex dreams. James Marsters said in a Harsh Light of Day Q&A, back in 2006, that he'd once asked Joss whether he'd subconsciously written the Riley/Buffy relationship in such a way that it left things really open for Spike, and Joss had replied in a sarcastic tone that maybe he had "unconsciously" -- implying that it had been quite conscious on his part. :P *shrugs*)