Positive away. I hate feeling like eeyore about it.
It's just... I had my days years of positivity. I remember quite clearly going through Season 6 on subtext then pretty much walking away feeling like I'd been kicked in the gut. And it's not simply because I didn't get what I wanted. It's because it became very clear to me that what I thought I was seeing and what Joss and Marti and Fury etc thought they were writing didn't resemble each other very much. There was a fundamental disconnect, and it was made clear interview after interview, but I fanwanked. What they were saying, and what I saw on screen didn't seem the same. Then, they got insistent about it and created Seeing Red. There was no ambiguity about that.
I can't be happy with subtext, because I can't trust the subtext that I see. I've had it brought home quite clearly that what I think I see and what Joss and Co think they are writing are not necessarily the same thing.
By the time Season 7 rolled around I swore that I'd stop searching the negative space and stop trying to read between the lines, because I'd misread, and misread badly. So Jossian subtext no longer works for me (or, based on her post, Barb). We read subtext and then were brutally told by the text (and the writers) that what we thought we saw was not true. It's why so many people left the fandom in that time period.
I hope this isn't true again. I truly, sincerely do. I want all of these explanations and insights to be correct and born out in the story. I truly do. I would really like that. But it's a bit like the fanficcy-ish dialog that popped in my head yesterday as I imagined a scene of Buffy actually asking him why he did not call.
S:"Had no hope left to lose." B:"Nothing to lose? Then why not call?" S" 'Cause I'm lying. Obviously. It was the last thing left in the box when everything else got away. And even if I couldn't believe... what you said, I wanted to. And I didn't want reality to kill that hope dead."
no subject
It's just... I had my
daysyears of positivity. I remember quite clearly going through Season 6 on subtext then pretty much walking away feeling like I'd been kicked in the gut. And it's not simply because I didn't get what I wanted. It's because it became very clear to me that what I thought I was seeing and what Joss and Marti and Fury etc thought they were writing didn't resemble each other very much. There was a fundamental disconnect, and it was made clear interview after interview, but I fanwanked. What they were saying, and what I saw on screen didn't seem the same. Then, they got insistent about it and created Seeing Red. There was no ambiguity about that.I can't be happy with subtext, because I can't trust the subtext that I see. I've had it brought home quite clearly that what I think I see and what Joss and Co think they are writing are not necessarily the same thing.
By the time Season 7 rolled around I swore that I'd stop searching the negative space and stop trying to read between the lines, because I'd misread, and misread badly. So Jossian subtext no longer works for me (or, based on her post, Barb). We read subtext and then were brutally told by the text (and the writers) that what we thought we saw was not true. It's why so many people left the fandom in that time period.
I hope this isn't true again. I truly, sincerely do. I want all of these explanations and insights to be correct and born out in the story. I truly do. I would really like that. But it's a bit like the fanficcy-ish dialog that popped in my head yesterday as I imagined a scene of Buffy actually asking him why he did not call.
S:"Had no hope left to lose."
B:"Nothing to lose? Then why not call?"
S" 'Cause I'm lying. Obviously. It was the last thing left in the box when everything else got away. And even if I couldn't believe... what you said, I wanted to. And I didn't want reality to kill that hope dead."