ext_15387 ([identity profile] angearia.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] maggie2 2010-09-23 12:18 am (UTC)

It's so crazy seeing so much Joss in Season 8. Like, he's pouring his heart into this. There is so much pain and self-doubt and self-disgust.

It's why calling this crackfic feels... hurtful to him. I can't imagine my posting a story I poured my heart and soul into and someone coming along and tearing it apart.

I mean, I understand how and why people call Season 8 crackfic. It has crackiliciousness in it. But it is coming from a heartfelt place and I understand not liking the story, but when I read Season 8, I kinda just ache because of all the self-disgust in it, because of all the issues I can see an almost invisible thread tracing back to Joss.

We write who we are. We write from places of pain, our pain.

And I think about Joss calling himself a "sad, bitter old man" and there's this self-awareness there, that he sees himself this way and I think maybe wishes he wasn't.

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