And I wonder if every time I write about them it's rubbing salt in wounds.
Here's my thought. Our journals are our own. We need to be able to voice our opinions in our own journals. That's what they are for. And, for all we do need civility and kindness in fandom. We do need compassion. I think it's too much to ask of ourselves -- or of anyone -- to place responsibility for someone else's emotional state on us. (Err... did the way I state that make any sense?) We can't really control how other individuals feel at least not in matters where we're stating our own reaction or thoughts about a book or movie or comic, media. etc. These are texts and media that are going to provoke different reactions and everyone is allowed their feelings. It's a bit unrealistic (and I'd venture to say even unfair) to expect everyone censor themselves for fear that their geniune reaction might cause someone else to react badly.
Which, again, is not to say that civility, kindness, and compassion are unimportant. Heck, they're essential. It's the grease that allows the machinery of civilization and fandom to function. It is good to cut each other some slack, to allow for differences of opinion, to behave in a compassionate and civil manner as much as we can. But we really cannot be responsible for anyone's emotions but our own. And if we're talking in our own LJ and are expressing our reactions, feelings, and opinions then I think we need to realize we're allowed to do that... and others are too. If someone doesn't want to read it, if our reactions brings about a distressed response from someone else, then there's always the choice to step back and not read. There are filters and friending and all the ways we need to shield ourselves from what is distressing. If there isn't name calling, vendetta pushing, offensive of an individual and personal nature, etc. then we need to allow people the space to express themselves in their own journals and to understand that that is their space.
Basically, we should all strive to be considerate, but it's an unnecssary and unfair expectation that people need take responsibility for the emotional response of the rest of the world. We need to leave room for honesty and have empathy enough to understand that we can feel differently about things -- and express it -- and also understand that everyone has feelings here and opinions. And, while we may not feel the same or hold the same opinion about something, that's okay. We can't expect everyone to go around censoring themselves because... that sort of defeats the purpose of LJ. Civility is good, walking around on eggshells fearing the reactions of others... kinda stifling.
I'm interested in opinions and ideas even when they don't align perfectly with my own. We learn things that way and gain perspective, and even if it doesn't necessarily change how we view things, it allows us insight into how others do. :)
And I genuinely like (and agree) with much of what you have to say here. I do.
RE: the preview, I didn't have much of a reaction beyond the text of it because the preview is but a snippet. I actually would like to know more before coming up with a reaction... because the Jossverse has made me paranoid cautious.
no subject
And I wonder if every time I write about them it's rubbing salt in wounds.
Here's my thought. Our journals are our own. We need to be able to voice our opinions in our own journals. That's what they are for. And, for all we do need civility and kindness in fandom. We do need compassion. I think it's too much to ask of ourselves -- or of anyone -- to place responsibility for someone else's emotional state on us. (Err... did the way I state that make any sense?) We can't really control how other individuals feel at least not in matters where we're stating our own reaction or thoughts about a book or movie or comic, media. etc. These are texts and media that are going to provoke different reactions and everyone is allowed their feelings. It's a bit unrealistic (and I'd venture to say even unfair) to expect everyone censor themselves for fear that their geniune reaction might cause someone else to react badly.
Which, again, is not to say that civility, kindness, and compassion are unimportant. Heck, they're essential. It's the grease that allows the machinery of civilization and fandom to function. It is good to cut each other some slack, to allow for differences of opinion, to behave in a compassionate and civil manner as much as we can. But we really cannot be responsible for anyone's emotions but our own. And if we're talking in our own LJ and are expressing our reactions, feelings, and opinions then I think we need to realize we're allowed to do that... and others are too. If someone doesn't want to read it, if our reactions brings about a distressed response from someone else, then there's always the choice to step back and not read. There are filters and friending and all the ways we need to shield ourselves from what is distressing. If there isn't name calling, vendetta pushing, offensive of an individual and personal nature, etc. then we need to allow people the space to express themselves in their own journals and to understand that that is their space.
Basically, we should all strive to be considerate, but it's an unnecssary and unfair expectation that people need take responsibility for the emotional response of the rest of the world. We need to leave room for honesty and have empathy enough to understand that we can feel differently about things -- and express it -- and also understand that everyone has feelings here and opinions. And, while we may not feel the same or hold the same opinion about something, that's okay. We can't expect everyone to go around censoring themselves because... that sort of defeats the purpose of LJ. Civility is good, walking around on eggshells fearing the reactions of others... kinda stifling.
I'm interested in opinions and ideas even when they don't align perfectly with my own. We learn things that way and gain perspective, and even if it doesn't necessarily change how we view things, it allows us insight into how others do. :)
And I genuinely like (and agree) with much of what you have to say here. I do.
RE: the preview, I didn't have much of a reaction beyond the text of it because the preview is but a snippet. I actually would like to know more before coming up with a reaction... because the Jossverse has made me
paranoidcautious.