As Joss explores our objectification of others in Dollhouse it becomes clearer that this has always been a theme in his work -- how we can't fully escape the tendency to use others or see them in our own image and so on. One of the reasons I heart the man.

Agreed. We are definitely on the same page here. It is one of the reasons I find myself gravitating to Whedon's work and why, regardless of the flaws, I heart his work.
And you are correct it is a definite theme - I saw it in Toy Story - which he won the Oscar for.

And it's what he said so clearly in his speech at the Cultural Humanist society...
that he believes we all objectify each other to some extent. Often without realizing it.

AYW - a difficult episode for me to watch without yelling at the tv set for some reason - is actually quite brilliant, if you read it through that lense. Everyone in that episode is romanticizing Riley and Sam. It is filled with so many misdirections and misleads. From Willow's conviction that her power is merely an addiction (supported by Sam) to Xander/Anya's view of each other.
I bring up AYW because I see it as the mirror to ITW. It like ITW has an unreliable narrator.